I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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