So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
