Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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