It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You ate ashes out of my bong
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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