TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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