i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
