The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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