Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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