I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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