After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize