is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
