I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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