Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
