i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
