hell yes lets make some ravioli
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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