love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
