y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
