its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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