Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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