oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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