I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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