I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
