I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
