1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Holy sore nipples Batman
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
