Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
