He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
