I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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