he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
