hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
