I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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