That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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