brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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