Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize