so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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