Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize