Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize