That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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