the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your cock deserves a montage
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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