Im at strip club and am horny
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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