Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
