I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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