His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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