yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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