i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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