I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
