who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
