Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
