why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize