the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
