I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
