Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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