I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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