There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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