Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love having hate sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
