she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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