and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
