I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
