As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
