forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
