The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
