You really coming over, don't trick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
