So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
