she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
